~Road to finding Ourselves……

It never occured to me until a new friend  was eager to know more about me  posed a question that made me think twice  .The question made me type the answer and before pushing the send button..i press delete then type again and again..then delete … why? i was not sure of the answer am texting back.
     The question was “Describe yourself in  3 words”….Such a simple question and i could not find the correct  answer within me.At that momment i realized i have never really spent time with myself  to really find out who i am. For some reasons many are the times we are not sure of  what we want..whom we are  like..our goals…..we cannot  really describe our personalities this  influences our self esteem…How can we correct this problem?
   1.★TAKE TIME..

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It is said “Time heals all wounds”…I  believe in this as things get better with time..
How often do  you take your time to study your behaviour and focus on nothing else but you? By just being whom you are despite the influence from the  enviroment and people  sorrounding you? .Taking time to learn about your self will give clear results of whom you are..Do you like bananas or apples? Vanilla or strawberry ?Dancing or swimming..
Time is very important when it comes to making conclusions of our personalities . As you take time you are able to come up with a clear conclusion of small things that needs simple desicions but greatly describe YOU…eg.Type of food you love..or mode of dressing

  2.★DO WHAT YOU LIKE….

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  After taking your time to define yourself by what you love ..concentrate on it and  DO IT!!!!!..Dance, swim ,skate ,model , write, photography …anything you love doing creat time for it till it becomes part of you…be specific on what it is you love doing and do it give it your all.
When you create  no time for what you love you demean yourself something thats so part of you..
Some few months ago ,i used to go for dancing lessons..i used to get lost in the music ,the rhythms and dance moves ..i used to forget myself..and dance as if it was my last  day.However ,the momment i got lazy and stopped the lessons i forgot whom i am..because i stopped doing what makes me ..Happy ..
I insist that we learn to keep ourselves busy with what we love..
3.LOVE THYSElf♥♥
   I totally agree.. Loving thyself is not a selfish move but sometimes it just have to be You! And you! Alone..When we first love ourselves ..we take care of ourselves physically ,mentally and also spiritually..When you are inlove with someone you take care of them ,understand them,litsen to them.The same way we should love ourselves.This will help us in self acceptance which in turn rises our self esteem and our view about ourselves.Take care of your self image  Take care of your skin  ,Your nails,work out and keep fit thats positive self love.
4.BE YOU!!
   Lastly , BE YOU!…Dont try to change whom you are .let people experience the kind of person you are let people describe You by being you.Be honest to yourself and Do not hide a single detail about your personality.The advantage of this is that people will understand you and take you as you are.
  Following my 4 steps of ways to defining ourselves…we shoul not suffer from identity crisis…anymore for we know whom we are!..

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NOW …I KNOW..

“You only know you love her ,when you let her go”are the last words of  regrets that i want to roam in my mind.I was having some tea with mum the other day but my mind was drifting away from our conversation till she quarreled me that i dont call or text to see how she is doing.Honestly i have not,  but in my defence  i  turned the tables and told her she also does not call oftenly and am also busy with school and work  …thats why i also forget.Mum looked at me in the eye and asked me,”till  when?when i will be old and no strength ?when i will be in a casket or on my  deathbed,is that when you will call and start caring ,are you always this busy to meet your friends??? Those words hit my heart straight in the middle just as lightning..i dont know how i felt..like a wake up call ..
It hit my mind that i love my mum but i have not been doing enough to show that,i have been practicing “words without action” and in  this world ,there is one irreplacable person you cannot change

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;A mother, thats the only person who is bound to a child through flesh and blood .Since conception a mother takes the responsibility to carry a child  till she  gives birth, As if thats not enough she  goes through all the trouble of feeding ,clothing ,schooling till the child reaches her  teenage  and feels like he/she owns the world and can do whatever it is that pleases them . At this teenage period the parents picture starts to fade,they start spending  alot of time with their friends ,and their phones and  if not careful the family can become very irrelevant and boring  .As for me ,when i moved to high school i was away from my mum because it was a boarding school communication was less through  occassional phone calls when i needed more money..When i was home for holiday i became an addict of my phone i used to text and call my friends all day and have very little conversation with my mum and my siblings but for my friends i had all the time .I was a teenage by then i had not yet discovered myself or what life had install for me,my thoughts  were that of a teenager but now that i am advanced in age,i have discovered that the only woman i cannot change position in my life  is my mum.I was so full of myself that i did not take a momment to discover how beautiful she is…i took her words for granted ,I was wrong,for taking her sacrifices and love for granted all those times and am deeply sorry . I did not know but  now i know ,am yet to be a mother and as they say somethings cannot be understood unless experienced ;as i take this journey of being a woman i cannot take for granted or go aganist the woman who gave me life,she had a choice to get rid of me but she did not.I am inspired by my mum till today she is my best friend,spiritual guider,my provider and my first love .Life is precious and a gift from God .Life on earth is not permanent lets not wait for tommorrow to fix what can be fixed today,lets not wait till its so cold then we start missing the sunshine.For all those out there with guardians and mothers lets appreciate them and show more love .let them be proud of whom we have become,i personally have learnt a huge lesson and i want someone else to learn. Lets love ,serve and appreciate  our mothers when there is still a  chance …Someone out there wishes they had a mum  one like yours .There is a day they will not be there with us ,i hope it will not be too late for you..if only you could do what is right now ..i believe you will make a diffrence.Am ready to change,are you?

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   I did not know ,now i know
Inspired by mum.
#@ TERRY

#@wanja

I Have a litte package..

I have a little package ,not so huge but just enough to fit in at everyones life.The little package is full of the little things in life that if embraced,they can change our relationships and make us happy…very happy! Extreemly happy!.

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I have been thinking ,what exactly defines my happiness ?  i laid all my options on the table and then i realised that its the very little things  in life that  rotates around my happiness.          Has someone ever pointed out a very little detail about you…someone you are well aquinted to like your girlfriend,husband ,friend or close relative  .How did u feel him /her recalling or recognizing  the little   details? Nice huh?.i bet

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Now,the major things and planned things in life do not necessarily make us happy rather the unexpected and very the  minor.Major things in life include marriage, Graduating,moving to a new house and the like .They makes us happy yes !because they are sort of goals expected to be achieved  but do  not compare to the happines when someone holds your hand as you walk ,gives you a deep comforting hug when things are in a total mess or someone remembering its friday the day you always cook dinner together ,oh !he also  remembered the wine and the flowers too.

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When people remember these small things we feel appreciated,loved and cared for .In todays life ,we are all up and down chasing paper ,trying to pay our bills in time ,keep up with the competition and new ways and trends of the world and its quite easy to forget even the simple words that may change big things. How many times do you say “thank you” to  that waitress who served you coffee in the comfort of your office? How many times do you appreciate people around you with nice  compliments “you look nice today”.
Life itself is very simple,we complicate it by trying to find happiness in  most expensive and extravagant ways .You  could also think of Waking up before him and cooking him some coffee that would  brighten up  his day ,Bring her milk after work because you had her complain its over shows you are so keen to details  and you care so much. Such little deeds would strengthen  relationships and also show the sence of responsibility.
There is alot of little things in life that makes us happy when said or done as they  bring out the beauty in life .Its high time we find out the little things that makes our life and that of others beam with happiness  in that way we will be able to spread a smile of little things everywhere.
Lets open our little package of little things  and make our big big world burst with hapiness…♥

#@wanja.

#@wanja

FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION;same boat diffrent directions.

Forgiveness is the act or mind shift from revenge and bitterness towards a person who has wronged you.It can also be described as letting go of all the harm and hurt caused by someone.Forgiveness will always be a requirement as far as human exists ,because we are weak and thus prone to errors.It has been preached in surmons and emphasised alot.well,forgiveness is essential as it brings peace not only to our own self but to people we wrong and who wrong us.
Forgiveness aside;lets talk reconciliation…the act of two parties coming together in mutual respect.Forgiveness can lead to reconciliation but not all the time people who forgive each other continue with the relationship.in other terms people who forgive each other do not necessarily have to continue staying together,sharing stuff and all that.Depending on the conflict issue between two parties reconciliation does not  have to come through at the end.In my opinion ,i believe in forgiveness is a process of  totally letting go and having no need to stab in  the back later (revenge) .I also think after forgiving  walk away  and reduce connections .Forgiveness is most essential and it has happend ,if you want to keep respect alive  for a person you have been having indiffrences with,kindly walk away this will give both of  you time to understand one onother,clearly see the boundaries between you and finally,will let respect prevail .I also respect the fact that we are so diffrent ,the diversity in human race is alot interms of religious believes ,culture and the like,but coming to think of it forgiveness itself is a process regardless of the diversification  especially in extreeme cases that may include physical harm and so is reconciliation its also a process (to accept that person back)might take longer than usual so the two dosent have to go together thats what am trying to prove here.So yeah forgiveness and reconciliation almost sound the same but..they sometimes dosent have to work together am just an open minded person who views life at an angle called # REALITY .Despite my beliefs and whatever when reality comes in it  changes  my dimension of thinking  and reasoning.

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#@wanja

AM JUST A MAN…..

When i think of a man,i think of a male figure, The head of a family,first to be created by God as far as human race is concerned.I think of a leader,a role model,a trend setter ,responsibility taker,providers of needs and everything positive… i dont want to sound like am gender biased person,but all i know is that being a man is a position of its own and of greatness and power.
  Some time long ago..in an ideal African community both girls and boys were taught diffrent roles separately.The older men or rather (elders)would  take young boys and educate them on growing up and their roles in the community.The roles involved taking care of the family,
Hunting to provide,Farming and offering of sacrifices .I am not saying the role of these young men outdid the roles of young women ,but at that time the male figure dominated all superior positions as they were believed to be wise and brave unlike the case of this great woman (Wangu wa Makeri) who used to sit on men while in meetings (seems gender equitability fight started early)
.That was just a short throwback to show you the roots of an African man .
This is where my mind shifts to an rather diffrent direction… Life is like a roller coaster with high and lows and sometimes the low seems to be higher than the high and it does not matter whether  your are a man or a woman the “low”hits you like a wrecking ball the diffrence comes in on how…men are able to handle the “low”….thats my intrest now…

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    Lets take a commercial break and look at women .A woman is is able to let out her emotions easily by crying,looking for help from friends ,relatives , and is allowed to give up before even  finding a solution and thats how she deals with her “low .However, looking at a man and his position in a family →(HEAD) when hit by a ” low” in life …crying would be the last resort ,i mean..a man crying “whats more wierd than that ” .A man letting out his emotions is considered as Weakness especially through crying .A man is not supposed to give up ,He is the solution maker , no matter how  thick the situation is  .It dosent get any thicker ,when a man has to hide how he feels  and the pressure he is into.Women are considered complicated ,but men are so secretive no matter which PHD u have  in psychology and human behaviour  you cant really  squeez secrets out of a man unless you use another power “Art of seduction”Lol!!!.Anyway ,as men are limited to letting out emotions its prove enough they are prone to depression ,depression related illness eg ulcers,and the like more than women.Men are dangerous though…hehe!!! They let out emotions such as anger,frustrations,low esteem by funny ways like ;petty fights,turning to alcoholics,  and others i wont mention the worst of all commiting suicide .Well,that will depend on an individual perspective of life and how far he can withstand being pushed to the edge.  A man can do anything to proof his manhood,he could lease a ferrari,get a million dollar home and just do the unthinkable.

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Bruno mars an artist in one of his songs said ” i would take a grunade for you,put my head on a plane for you, take a bullet for you “…This is enough expression of how to sign a death certifite to just to proof..he is..a man ahead of his game.
So ,i jus dont get it…what makes a man a man???…is it the way he kills himself  through depression wearing an “I GOT THIS ” attitude to prove it,or is it his nature that being a man you should actually be automatically brave ,persevere and look for solutions?..i still need answers….Men hit my comment box…i need to know..

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I do appreciate your bravely  and everything but with an open mind i would conclude that being a man does not make you a lesser or greater being so stop killing yourselves to prove a point.Let out your emotions dont hold back the river in your eyes….cry if it will make u feel better,smash all your utensils to let go…do whatever ….just dont dig an early grave caused by depression…because you needed to be a man..just think about it…

#@wanja

SĽÃVËS ŐF ÖŰŘ ÖWŃ ŃÂŤÙŘÊ…¿¿

Human nature is the way we think ,act live ,feel and express our thoughts ,without external influence such as the society,enviroment,education,religion and the like.Our nature defines who we are from the inside to the outer.Its in our nature that some of us are either introverts or extroverts ,pessimistic or optimistic ,kind or arrogant,proud or humble .Holding all other factors that could trigger a change in our nature  constant ,can you believe we could be slaves of our own nature?

Of late i have been watching a couple of series and in one of them it just triggered my mind of how our own nature can hold us captive and imprison us in a den full of angry lions called “helplessness and guilt”

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“” So there is this king whose power his citizens worshipped .He goes to a doctor and realizes he is diagonised with brain tumor ,uh-oh…thats not good news when you are a king and dont want to show weakness to your citizens.He is an agressive man and very mean he decides kill the doctor and his wife in cold blood for he could not take in the news about state of his health.After sometime ,the tumor gets worse and the only person who can help its the daughter to the dead doctor because she had learnt some skills.The daughter was mad ,angry and would have really wanted to avenge his parents death for she knew the king did it.The daughter pricking the king with needles while medicating she had all the chances to poison the mean king and kill him but she didnt.She was kind and forgiving in her nature  thou she felt alone and craving for vegence her nature couldnt let her instead she nursed the king till he was totally okey .””

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That was was not a fairy tale for entertaining my readers  it was a demonstration of how we are enslaved by our nature .The girl could have just killed the king and justice would have prevailed but her kind nature didnt allow her.Come on,dont get me wrong here;am not preaching vegence all am saying is her nature stopped her.The king’s nature enslaved him too he was a  coward on the inside to an extent of fighting the truth by killing the doctor and had the audasity to ask for the daughter a favour to heal him.

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Many are the times we have wanted to express our deepest feelings , abilities and fear  but the “who we are “stops us because we feel  its a contraly to our nature.There is no liberation or freedom from slavery of  our own nature unless we welcome the external factors to change our nature.eg religion.
To an extent i personally i would prefer to be a slave of my nature especially to the positive traits that i may have and lock any external factor trying to change it unless its been changed from good to better.
To sum up,if you are a slave of your own nature and its not affecting you as a person or the other person be a faithful slave and let it chain you up.Always be who you are no matter the pressure dont change a thing for anyone be a happy slave of your nature.(positive nature)

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  #terryarticles

#@wanja

BY ANY MEANS; STAY HAPPY:-):-)

Happiness is the state of mind being free from worries, stress, depression, humiliating thoughts and pressure. Happiness is the state of the heart feeling free, secure, flawless and good. Happiness is the state of the physical staying healthy, active and fresh. I had to share my happiness through writing this  because its one thing that i personally value ,not just any happiness but true and genuine happiness without pretence and hypocracy.Happiness that does not take advantage of another person,or compromise another persons joy or hurt their feelings.Its a choice to be happy and i emphasize that by any means ,stay happy.Fall in love,forgive,let go,be open minded ,keep  no grudges,meet new people,do things diffrently,
and the door of happiness will be open to you…i insist that by any means STAY HAPPY.

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However, life is not a one way traffic ,and by that i mean its not a happy ever after clichè that every “telemundo soap opera series ends with,”(I mean whom ever writes their scripts makes them so predictable).Anyway ,i had to critisize that.As i was saying,sometimes “The door of happiness closes and depends where the key went to.To some the happiness door slams and the key falls right under the lock.Some,the door shuts and the key break inside the lock and others the key just falls and and dissapears .When the door of happiness closes ,the blue sky turns grey ,the smiles turns to frown,love turns to hate,up is down,yes is no,in is out everything changes, everything just goes bad ,but good news is how fast you regain happiness  depends  on where the key to your happiness is when the door shut.If it fell just under the door,pick it up and open your door ,If  it got broken at the key hole then ,get yourself another key,if it dissappeared try to find it or rather if its not worth finding replace it.Being happy will always be a choice whether
Your life is hanging in the valley of shadows or is merry in milk and honey .Find your key to happiness and use it to keep your door open all time and i insist by all or any means STAY HAPPY…

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Dedication:↓↓↓:♧◇□
I dedicate this article to everyone who keeps the door of my happiness:-) open by motivating me and reading my work,my  friends innoe☆ and Brayo my mum and dad,my siblings, best friend Tish* and my guy  Andy♥♡ not forgetting bloggers family .lets keep happiness alive by all means WE STAY HAPPY….
@terry articles..

#@wanja

Its a slow fade…

There is this moment in life,I like to call it “the slow fade”,in this moment one feels like a shadow ,so dark and so intangible .The soul sinks ,and the physical grows weak by day,it loses hope and  cuts off expectation ,
     People supposed to be there with you are no where to be found. Those supposed to have your back turn against you.This “slowfade ” moment ,those to trust act as Judas and betray you like you deserve it.
     In this moment nothing really matters not your looks ,your friends,your studies ,your purpose,everything doesn’t really make sense  anymore.You start to slowly fade from the face of the world ,you start being a “walking dead”person ,no future ,no expectations no nothing.
     The world slowly cast you,judge you,and isolate you that you feel all alone.It feels like a kingdom of isolation and you are the queen.
       Only opmistic people escape the “slowfade moment” because to them it actually opens their eyes to new opportunities and to reality of the world.To them,its a turning point,not a time for regrets ,guilt feelings,depression  and all that,its a time for a new beggining,a new chapter in life,to fix what’s broken  and learn from their past mistakes
      Its not a guarantee that you will live a smooth life ,you will at one point or another experience this “slow fade “momment well,that is not the issue the question I ask is ,on which side will u be while experiencing the “slow fade”;Opmistic or pessimistic?
#terryarticles
  

#@wanja

will this once be enough?

For,some reason some few years ago I was not familiar with the phrase,”you only live once”that got me thinking,was I to live twice ,then?I don’t know,but as for now ,that’s a common phrase,and it absolutely make 101℅ sence to me,I now get it,I have only one life to live.That’s not an issue but the question I ask is,will this once ,be enough?
When the end draws near ,my body grows weak,my heart fails me,my strength is gone,and my time has come,will I look back and sigh with relief and say “That once was enough”,or will I fight with my fate and try to go back and live again because ,I just didn’t do things right?.
   Every second and minute I live I know deep down I do not belong to myself,and I don’t have eternity to live on planet earth ,every day life,should be a new begging to fix broken past and live like its your last day.With this I mean,time waits for no man,
   If its love ,love like its your last ,if its fun ,have it as your last,if its helping help like your life depends on it,we are like flowers that glow in the rain but no more in sunshine.Well ,it will all depend on you as an individual what you will do with this “once”.Don’t just sing it ,shout it,post it,blog it,DO IT!!!for the best interest of you and people around you.keep asking”will this once be enough?
Y.O.L.O

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#@terryarticles
      

#@wanja

THE INSIDE..

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I didnt know the greatest,most powerful ,unbreakable and strongest person unique,free and one of a kind was not what people see when they looked at me,but what I am when I withdraw from the crowd and find my peace in the sunset.
  That person is not the physical me,no!but the voices inside me ,”no don’t do that!,”,”you are the best'”there is still a chance!!”go for it”.Those voices come from the me in me;
Many people fail to listen to the inner voice  and end up doing what the physical wants for reasons such as greed,pleasure, human weakness ,ignorance, for praise and all that.I believe everyone has an innerself  that a always talks the truth,because it knows ,what you hide,what you do when no one is watching ,your thoughts,and all that .Its time I give my inner self to speak before I act.it’s a voice of truth.
#terryarticles.